Molly Says Hi

One day I was minding my own business when I walked on by this dumpster and I heard this rustling around in it and this guy’s head pops out and it’s one of my friends and I’m not real surprised because I have all kinds and it takes all kinds it really does and I ask him what he’s doing in there going for a swim? And he says no he’s a trash pirate sailing the seas of undiscovered treasures says one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and I say yeah but often times and more often than not one man’s trash is most probably just another man’s trash also and he says yeah well if that’s the case then some people are total shit heads and he says some people wouldn’t know a treasure if a gold brick hit them in the face and I say that’s an interesting analogy and he says it’s not an analogy he seen it happen to a guy he was with once and I asked what happened and he said the guy was bleeding all over the fucking place and had a broken nose and couldn’t see very good or whatever cause he had blood in his eyes and everything and too many tears were coming out too but the guy said he wasn’t crying it was just an involuntary tear-duct response and whether he was or wasn’t I don’t know but I sure would have been so I can’t judge or nothing and I’d probably been selling it lots more than that too because those things don’t come along too often and you really have to milk them for all they’re worth you really do I swear you do and anyways he said he picked it up and took it to the pawn where they gave him back his raincoat for it plus some money and I asked what he spent the money on and he said drugs of course plus a little food but he said you don’t need much food when you’re on drugs which is real fucking nice cause food is expensive as fuck especially when you’re poor from being on drugs which isn’t a choice, it’s a lifestyle, anyways he was eating on this piece of bread it had mold on it but not on all the parts and he offered me some but I wasn’t hungry then he shows me the loot I don’t really care to see it but he asks me all excited like “You want to see the LOOT?” plus he has depression and hardly gets so excited about things so what kind of an asshole would I be if I didn’t indulge him right so of course I have to and say of course show me the loot all excited like back then he tosses this flesh covered slinky missile out when he’s bent down in there and it goes flying across the parking lot and bouncing a bit and you can hear him laughing inside there his laughter is bouncing off the metal walls and sounds a bit insane and he says he bets someone’s missing that and maybe we should go to the grocery and put it in one of the cereal boxes like a prize for a kid and I ask like seriously WTF is wrong with you are you being serious I can’t even tell anymore he asked me what’s the difference between someone with a dildo and someone without one and I ask what and he says nothing we’re all fucked my friend but then he pulls out this VCR and it’s a Betamax and I’m like WTF and he’s laughing manically again then he bends down and comes back up with this pile of movies, cassette tapes and he knows I love movies and asks what you want to watch, the Mask, Perfect Storm or Schindler’s List and he says he wants to watch Schindler’s list I say I’m not really in the mood for that one he asks what kind of a mood I’m in I say I don’t know but not a Schindler’s list one he goes ok The Mask it is but he says that one is more depressing if I haven’t seen it in a while because sense of humors change as we age and it just isn’t funny anymore or good but I say that’s all fine with me we don’t even know if this player’s going to work and I’m not really planning to watch it with him and he says assured “It will work.” I reply “We’ll See.” Two girls walk by without hesitation he shouts “Hey Ladies!” doesn’t miss a beat, meanwhile I’m embarrassed the girls look at us both like we’re maniacs which I’m starting to wonder about myself the girls are looking at me a little longer then him like I’m supposed to be more normal than I am and I’m thinking the same thing too myself but that just doesn’t seem to be the case I have to admit my friend does have something I don’t have never seen girls kind of into a man in a garbage dumpster but there’s a first for everything I guess he’s got a smile it’s as good as gold matches his heart I’m sure of it more sure I’m sure of anything you can’t have it all he jumps out of there first he hands me all the stuff takes another big bite out of the bread it’s a garlic loaf or something like that he jumps out he’s spry and agile more than you would think for an older person but his good heart keeps him agile like that even if it’s pumping drugs through it hearts like that need drugs to numb themselves from the pain of living in a world of so many other shitty hearts and then he pours a bottle of what looks like pee in it and I ask is that pee he says no it’s gas then he takes a cigarette bud out his pocket and takes a drag off the jammed end of what’s left bent in zig zags and tosses it in the dumpster it lights up real fast there is this huge fire lots of flames dancing out there he says deforestation and sometimes you have to sanitize those things they’re fucking gross he says he doesn’t know who in their right mind would ever go in one of those things I say you just did he repeats “right mind” and laughs again he laughs a lot I say so you light the dumpsters on fire cause they need to be cleaned out huh he laughs again and says no actually the real reason is he’s a pyro and loves to burn things down but he has to be safe about it now too many arrests then he said we got to get out of there real fast before the police get there and that actually dumpster fires are real safe and you can sleep behind the dumpster later and it will be warm and do I want that one he has lots of other spots or we could share I say I’m okay keeping it to myself perhaps he isn’t thinking about it that I have a house and coming down the alley is a police car with its sirens and lights on and I ask how the fuck did the police get here so fast and he says cause he called them and laughs again and I ask why he’d do that and he says so he could feel alive since we’re about to have to run and I ask is he a fucking dumbass they can trace the call and he laughs again and says no he found the phone it wasn’t his I ask where he found it he says in someone’s car that left their door unlocked I ask you think maybe that phone belonged to somebody and you stole it he says no you can’t steal something if the door was unlocked besides it was a sign the universe wanted him to have it and possession was nine tenth’s the law I ask him what’s the other part he says getting caught stealing shit I say you know you’re insane right the police doesn’t see us we’re running through tall grass now that’s wet we’re soaked he says “I ain’t fucking insane” I say how would you know if you were he said I had him there he said everyone’s insane anyways so I said then if everyone’s insane then he must be too he said no everyone except him he was perfectly sane but everyone was driving him insane all the god damn time and they didn’t really even have to do anything to do it either just exist really he asked me if I had been manifesting well I said no he said he had he said that’s how he got the phone he asked was I still writing stories I said no just writing long run on sentences that are kind of like stories he asked what they’re about I said they’re about nothing he said that’s really something I said yeah it is I guess anyway I said it’s real nice to see you I love you we hugged he said he loved me too he said it better than me the insane one’s always do lots of times it’s not what you’re saying but how you’re saying it I’m always saying the right things but saying them wrong he’s always saying the wrong things but saying them right I wish I was more like him on that one I said I was on my way to see a girl he said oh you dirty dog you deep-doggin’ that tail then he started humping the air and pulled that dildo out his pocket which was crazy because I didn’t even see him pick it up he was wiggling it all about where his thing would be hopping up and down I said please don’t put that in a cereal box he laughed and stuffed it back in his pocket I said is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me he said it’s a huge fucking gross dirty dildo I found in the dumpster with a big smile but I’m really happy to see you always you know for real I said I know man he had that smile like a patient in a mental ward who knew something you didn’t and maybe had an escape plan up their sleeve or some hidden form of genius they kept to themselves or maybe he just wasn’t breastfed and I was off on the way to my date he yelled one last thing as we walked away from each other he asked did I know he was in de-forestation work I yelled back no then he asked more seriously did I see the trees growing in the dumpster though at least I said no again he asked really I said yeah he said weird most people can’t see the forest for the trees but if I couldn’t see the tree’s either I was real bad off I told him I’d be fine I only saw a forest in there he smiled and laughed so did I we hugged and each went our separate ways I said back to him keep your chest up chin high damn I have crazy friends then I went over to see about that girl she had messaged me on that bumble app she said I was weird I said I know she kept talking to me I thought she was beautiful so I went to go see about it I was walking over to her place I had never met her before her name was Ray it wasn’t a dude at least I didn’t think it was she said she was named after the saying “ray of sunshine” she had depression though which was ironic she asked didn’t I think it was ironic I said yeah it was ironic she said life is full of ironies she asked did I like ironies I said yeah I love them she said we might get along then she asked what were we going to do we could just hang out at her place and talk or did I have plans I said no I didn’t have plans really she said ok close the door behind you I’ll give you a tour her place was really messy she said “Excuse the mess” I said “It’s no problem” it was real bad though she said “Why are you all wet” I said “I had ran into a friend on the way over and it’s a long story” she said “I have time” I said “I don’t think I want to tell it he was kind of a crazy friend” she said “We’re all crazy” I said it’s a spectrum and some are outliers she asked what’s he do and I replied he’s a teacher I guess and she asked what subject and I said well he teaches people to lock their car doors I guess and she just looked at me funny for a moment and then didn’t ask further she had a dog named Gidget she said this is my ride or die dog we do everything together Gidget was a small terrier of some sort she lived in a small apartment alone it had clothes thrown around everywhere so that the walkways became something of tunnels made from clothes piles and small pieces of furniture that used to have a life before they were drowned in the great clothes flood of Ray she said did I know about MK-ultra and I said no I didn’t she said it started out as a government secret project from nineteen-fifty-three to nineteen-seventy three she said I mean that’s when it supposedly stopped only it didn’t it was mind control stuff mostly the CIA giving LSD to people without consent people that couldn’t defend themselves, the poor, mentally ill, convicts, then normal people, its own staff, etcetera, anyway I know about it because my mom was part of it I said really your mom works for the CIA she said no my mom sold her love for money I said oh she was a prostitute she said that’s a really nasty word you know who are you to judge you don’t know her you don’t know me she did what she had to survive anyways my mom worked on a mission called Operation Midnight Climax where she was paid to lure men to a brothel where she gave them LSD and other drugs, super-hallucinogenics and there was a one way mirror and on the other side CIA agents would record and study the “sessions”. Well who knows for all I know they’re just pervs jerking off to the stuff right on the other side of the mirror right probably on LSD themselves because it was in San Francisco in the seventies for god sakes but anyways my mom starts seeing one of these CIA guys I mean they get attached you know he turns out to be a decent fella then he starts telling my mom things he shouldn’t be telling her you know because they’re having lots of sex and stuff and he tells her that they have been genetically engineering humans since the sixties or so and that they were created by the government to be used as super soldiers but some of them were turned into musicians or artists or actors and actresses or whatever with the intended purpose of influencing society to control the masses like herds of sheep sometimes they would spew political messages but mostly it was product advertising through consumerism the government with celebrity MK Ultras placed celebrities could control the masses that’s why some of these celebrities could do ridiculous product endorsement and shameless self-promotion and had unending work ethics because their psyches had been split in to multiple personalities when they were young and they were given handlers not parents and they were the mechanism of keeping slave labor running which was the masses of people for resource development us because the elites needed a way to control the masses and the best type of slavery was the type that couldn’t be seen right so they used materialism and consumer is just actually a modern day name for slave anyways the original purpose of these studies was to try to get soviets or Chinese spies to defect or reveal secrets during the cold war but they saw that mind control could be used for a much broader purpose and as many have thought some of these MK Ultras are Manchurian Candidates and that just means they are basically sleeper rogue agents that can be controlled like robots and used to kill on command with a command word or whatever anyways sometimes these agents or MK Ultras or super soldiers or whatever you want to call them they have glitches and that’s how you can identify one so there are several videos of different agents having glitches and that might mean they talk nonsense or repeat the same thing over and over or they just freeze and stop working are you following me I say yeah she says ok I say this is kind of a weird conversation and Bumble date all of a sudden a knock on the door she says oh Shit I say what she says that she just gets anxiety every time someone knocks on the door Gidget starts yapping and she opens the door it’s some dude she says oh hey he says hi he looks at me and then back to her he says he needs his bag Gidget is humping my leg she says oh right hold on he comes in for a minute it’s pretty awkward I try to make some casual conversation but this guy is pretty in his own time zone she comes back and hands him the bag he says thanks and gives her a look and says see ya she says see ya the door closes the dog stops humping my leg I ask who’s that she says oh just a friend seems like more to me though anyways she says one of the Ultras is Shaq and on an episode of one of those sports announcer shows he froze for about two minutes and the other sports casters just acted like nothing was happening anyways after that there had been a big push on Fruity pebbles with Shaq on them again and I think they may be putting something in the cereal like lithium or mind control agent anyways I want to go to get a box and then we can open it and take it to a lab and get it checked out for anything chemical agents that don’t belong in there anyways do you want to go to the store with me I said sure I’ll go to the store with you she said ok I just need to turn off some lights and take my medicine real quick and put Gidget in her cage I ask what kind of medicine do you have to take she says for paranoid delusions she says just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you I say ok she says “I have schizophrenia” I say “hmm” she says it’s not a worry at all at least when she takes her medicine I ask has she been taking her medicine she replies she might of missed a day or few she can’t remember I ask is there anyone else in the room with us she says that’s very kind of you to ask and in fact there are and well I didn’t know if I wanted to introduce you not knowing about you and all but you seem ok there is Molly she’s behind you “Hi Molly” I say there are a few others around but they’re not here right now she said this isn’t going to be a problem with dating or anything I say why would it be she says well some people are so weird and make it such a big deal or something out of such little things anyways we go off to the store get some fruity pebbles and a few other things she needed too I guess she tells me Molly thinks I’m cute I say thanks she says Molly’s a flirt she’s a total slutbag too and that if I wanted a threesome Molly would probably be down I mean if we had sex you know she says she’s not usually so straight forward but Molly has a good read on people and if Molly likes you then I like you too and Molly likes you so I don’t know what to say to that and don’t say anything lots of times that’s the best thing you can do almost always in fact almost always say nothing but sometimes you got to say something I mean not too often but everyone once in a while you should really say something if you know it’s the right thing to say you know what I mean even if it’s hard to say you should say it if it’s going to help someone perhaps anyways we get back to her place again she opens the cereal and yells I say what she says there’s a friggin dildo in this I say no way she looks at me reaches her hand down in there and sure enough pulls at a flesh monkey same one I had just seen earlier it’s got permeant marker writing on it says “Unfuck the World” I say I think I know how that got in there she looks at me damn I have crazy friends she says this is the most fun date she has ever been on I say it’s getting late she says do you want to watch some tv or something I can make you some tea or something or rub your feet I’m thinking this is all way over my head but who can say no to that so I’m drinking tea and she’s rubbing my feet and we’re watching TV and she’s my girlfriend now and Molly says hi.